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Homily for the Feast of the Holy Family
(Dec 31, 2006)

When I picture the Holy Family, I see mainly three people: with Mary and Joseph  gazing serenely on their peaceful son Jesus. But since the family line of Joseph came from Bethlehem , it is quite possible that after Mary gave birth, they moved out of the cave and into a crowded house with some relatives. In any case, when they got back to Nazareth they, like most other families of that era, would have lived in close quarters with an extended family of grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc.  Those whom the Gospels refer to as Jesus’ sisters and brothers, were either his first cousins or Joseph’s children from an earlier marriage. In any case Jesus’ family life was not some perfect idyllic scene.

How was your family Christmas? Great or not so good?  If there are problems in the family, the cracks in the family portrait often show up at Christmas. 
Story: One man told me about his Christmas dinner gathering, which included a daughter who lives far away with his ex-wife. While another daughter was not there, her son and ex-husband were there. This man also invited his ex-wife’s father. When he was telling me all this, my mind reeled as I struggled to relate this to my image of a normal family.

Holy Family: If you think about it, the Holy Family was not exactly what you would call normal:
Mary : There was a virgin who gave birth to a son before she was married
 Joseph, the foster father, who had thought of abandoning Mary, when he learned she was pregnant
 Jesus, whose birth was announced by angels, greeted by shepherds and Wisemen, but whose life was in danger soon after he was born.
But they were truly a Holy Family because each had great faith in God and did what God told them to do. 

In today’s gospel we see Jesus, Mary and Joseph in a situation that seems typical of family life. With the pre-teen son going off on his own, and the parents troubled by his not communicating better with them.
However, this is not a rebellious son, but rather Jesus is coming to more fully realize that God is really his Father. Mary and Joseph come to see more clearly that their son does not really belong to them.
If the Holy Family had to work on their communication and grow in understanding and wisdom, what will it take for your family to be a Holy Family? 

Story: Linda and Dave had been married for l5 years. But something was not right; something was broken. Sometimes Linda felt angry and sometimes Dave felt resentful. The day after Christmas it came to a head and their marriage blew a gasket. Maybe it was their unrealistic expectations or the stress of the holidays, but that day they had a terrible fight in front of their children, with all the angry blaming and name calling—one of those “I hate you” kind of fights  when you say things you don’t really mean, but you said them. Dave stormed out, got in the car and disappeared.  When he returned they were both angry and hurt. Each wanted to make up but was afraid of being rejected again. They knew they loved each other, but what to do?

St. Paul gives us a good recipe:
A cup full of heartfelt compassion, two tablespoons of kindness, a handful of humility and gentleness,
Add a generous measure of patience and don’t forget to bear with one another; and then cover it all by forgiving one another. If you cant remember all of these, there is an emergency recipe:
     Stir up all the compassion you have in your heart and pour the forgiveness of Christ upon one another until your love is ready for serving.